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(Dedicated to those displaced by expropriation)
Maggie Pavlov
There once stood houses in our old neighbourhood
Where people knew your name and life was good
Then the word "renewal" filled their hearts with fear
Changes were a-comin' - politicians made that clear...
Well- in the name of progress
Your home it must come down
So save your tears and pack your bags
find yourselves some other part of town!
Petitions and teardrops shed into the night
Couldn't halt progress 'cause the "urban" cause was right
The unheard owners had no choise but to take what they could
The wrecking ball became the king in our neighbourhood.
Once people lived and loved and laughed and cried here
Now empty lawns stand atop their memories
Just like a cemetery, foundations, sunken, reveal
what bulldozers did and covered sod cannot conceal.
The years have passed and some are gone forever
No one forgets the wounds, the torn-up roots - No! Never!
The Rec Centre and the new schools take their place
But the hurt of those uprooted can never be erased.
> I've recently been challenged to rethink urban renewal. Along the lines of success, independence, money and safety...I've come to realize that maybe my idea of urban renewal is flawed. That maybe it's too close to creating something in my own image...like we do so often with people and ignore the person, only to watch our creation fall apart. Maybe urban renewal really isn't about fixing up homes or cleaning up waterfronts...especially when it's done in a way that strikes fear in peoples hearts.
competitive versus compassionate
"Whole magazines are dedicated to 'heroes' of sport, film, music, acting and other ways of excelling. They are the 'chosen ones' and their devotees...try to extract some vicarious pleasure from knowing them or being close to them. To be chosen as the Beloved of God is something radically different. Instead of excluding others, it includes others. Instead of rejecting others as less valuable, it accepts others in their own uniqueness. It is not a competitive, but a compassionate choice."
-Nouwen
"to be chosen does not mean that others are rejected."
-Nouwen
I have no idea how to not feel rejected when you hear of someone else's success. When someone comes along who is good at what you're good at...and even better...to not feel rejected and think to yourself.."what now? what will define me now as special and unique?"
I would like to celebrate with others when they experience joy, when they experience being chosen, without it being about me and my lack of being chosen.
my wife and I have decided...along with another couple, to find a house and move in together.
evertime I tell someone this, no matter how I word it, there's always the inevitable question of....do you share wives?
the answer is no.
then the question is...."why are you doing this?"
and for some who already are interested in community..."why? what is it about living together that's better than living in your own house on the same street?"
here's what's funny. i don't really know. so i figured i'd try and hack out a little bit of a more articulate thought on the topic so that at least i know why i'm doing it.
i definitely believe that what i see around me in terms of 'community' isn't really to the level that the bible suggests. when paul says..."be one in mind, in spirit..."etc. i'm pretty sure he means "be one in mind, in spirit..."
and then acts 2 and 4 stick out. where it talks about the sharing of possessions, the selling of property to be redistributed to those who need.
furthermore, we live in a culture that clearly says this..."If you cannot look after yourself, cannot look after your family....and looking after is defined as owning/renting a home, a car and being financially independent...then you are a failure."
to which my response is that i'm pretty sure the bible suggests the opposite, that we are to learn dependence, the ability to trust and have faith.
Jim Wallis said this, I used to ask people about things I saw in the church, and they responded...the church is a bad example, look to Jesus. (i paraphased.)
What's funny, is that a similar question is being formed...over and over I hear this. I'll trust God to provide, and I'll learn how to fully and blindly depend on him...but there's no way in hell i'm going to put my faith in people...they always let you down...can't trust them.
I think we miss the point. Severely miss the point.
and so we move into community...to trust God to provide, to trust our neighbours to provide, to love and care for us, and in turn that we might learn what it means to provide.
a movement from independence to dependence.
yet I haven't really tackled the question of....but why not houses on the same street?
and i still have thoughts on the question of "why" in the first place.
however it'll have to wait....
If I were completely honest with myself...this is how I'd define it...
money - because if you're good at something, then people pay you for your expertise...and the more they pay you, means the more they want you...which means the better your skill set is. Therefore, the more money you make the more 'needed' you are the more succesful you are.
appreciation - if you are doing something well, then people will appreciate what it is you contribute. And if they appreciate what you contribute, then they will want you around and want to be around you. Therefore, you are successful if people like you and appreciate you.
recognition - if you are doing something well, then people will notice. And if some people notice, and they are impacted by you, then they will tell others. Therefore, the more people who know you/ listen to you/ pay attention to you...the more succesful you are. because what you are saying must be important if all these people want to hear it.
responsibility/position - if I'm doing well at what I do, people will give me more of it and promote me. Therefore, the higher up I am, the more I'm 'in charge' of, the more succesful I am. So to be a CEO or Director or President must mean that I'm doing something well because people trust me with a lot.
At the end of the day, my definition of success is simple... You are successful if you are recognized, well paid, well positioned and well liked. Which is funny, because I'd like to believe that money doesn't determine success, nor does recognition and nor does popularity. But I've yet to meet anyone who can truly say these things don't impact their decisions and motivations.
And it sucks, because I'm supposed to have a different understanding of success, yet these are the factors that I judge myself on...
"...it has been relatively easy to find time for prayer during my stay in the monastery, where it was all structured for me and it was a novelty. But what about when I go back to my job?"
the monk replied...
"The first thing is that you have to want to pray. No amount of discipline or exercise or reading will do it if there is no desire."
I've talked about doing a lot of things in my life, and especially since moving to Hamilton. I wanted to have people over for dinners, to invite those I find on the street into my home to hang out and eat. I also wanted to be involved in the local school...I even went so far as to volunteer for about 5 weeks...I want to spend time with my neighbours, especially George, the widower who lives beside me. However, as days, then weeks and finally years go by, and I haven't acted...I begin to ask myself why.
and the answer always comes back...because I don't really, truly, want to. If I did, then I would.
-Vincent Van Gogh, The Complete Letters
I've found that my life has become busy.
I've found that the idea of being alone, quiet and in silence actually frightens me.
Which is why I need to make space...time...to reflect, contemplate and pray.
I think for awhile I had written off prayer. I think that I've seen it as a foolish exercise whereby we simply read off a list, or share secrets that shouldn't be shared - but hey, we're praying right? And I've seen prayer used as manipulation.
What's funny though, is that since becoming a father I've found myself forced to be still...and especially forced to be silent.
I now spend portions of my day holding my baby and rocking...and when I decide to turn the tv off...it's only my thoughts that are left.
And I have begun to appreciate it and value it...and miss it.
as economic poverty increases among the poor.
-Wallis.
coincidence?
In most cases, the people I'm talking to, see themselves as the ones with the answers, as the ones who are the heroes...and that they are helping and in effect saving the people they are working with.
From my perspective, I approach it where I'm the one who needs saving. I'm the one who needs to be rescued, and it's the people I'm spending time with who are going to help me with that.
Where they say, "I'll teach you."
I say , "Please teach me".
Where they say, "I'll help you enter the kingdom"
I say , "Please show me the kingdom."
that's the difference. It's hard to notice, but significantly different.
A friend of mine wrote this...and for awhile now I've been struggling with Israel and their vocation. It strikes me now, that when sent into exile, maybe it's possible that they too were in need of being abandoned by God in order to rediscover how to be a community of welcome, vulnerability and forgiveness.
